Today I’m pushing through. I don’t feel like posting, I’m afraid of what the future has in store for me (what if it’s nothing?). This is my normal and this is what I’m trying to get away from but it’s hard. Years of self doubt and timidness don’t magically disappear.
I’m out walking and figured that I’d stop and regroup. Maybe I’ll gain some perspective…
A few minutes and feet higher
The birds are literally singing around me and while it’s slightly annoying, it’s undeniably beautiful. Their song is a shrill reminder that I’m ok. I’m out walking, my kids are healthy and happy, I have a gorgeous husband who loves and supports me and I’m slowly but surely finding my way. The things I don’t have are patience and the ability to be ok when there is nothing going on around me. However, I’m going to accept the fact I am a work in progress and am choosing not going to stress about that today.
Tonight I’m looking forward to hanging out with my cooking club friends (I’m making blue cheese and black pepper gougeres from the Smitten Kitchen cookbook) and I’m going to spend the rest of today appreciating the gift of calm. But first, I need to make it off this hill.