Today I am working as catering staff for a wedding. I received my instructions via email three days ago and it was a beacon of hope while we were in the midst of one of the worst stomach afflictions my family had ever seen.  Anyway, I’d planned to write about this later but have some extra time on my hands because I reported to the wrong place. Yes, you read that right. The email said to report to the KITCHEN at 1:30pm so I went to the venue and waited in the kitchen. After about five minutes that all too familiar sense of dread started to settle in and I began to wonder if I was at the wrong place. I re-read the email and still not realize my mistake so I called the boss. And of course KITCHEN means the main kitchen and not the VENUE. Of course it does. Of. Course. It. Does. 

After apologizing and being told to read the emails more carefully in the future, I am sitting in front of this screen trying to process how I feel. I don’t think I’m embarrassed – it was an honest mistake. My feelings aren’t hurt and I’m not ready to give up but I am a bit shaken. I hate making stupid mistakes and I hate being out of my element almost every day. I will do my best to avoid these kinds of avoidable mistakes in the future, but I can’t help the anxiety I have about what I’m missing out on in the KITCHEN with the other staff and the pressure I will undoubtedly put on myself to make up for this dumb mistake later. 

When I started this blog, my intent was to share the negative and positive. While I’m not sure whether today will turn out to be negative or positive (I still have to get to the wedding) – it’s definitely annoying. I am a person who thrives on plans and structure and my life has been anything but for the past several months. Fun? Mostly. Exciting? Check. But stable, secure and set? NO. It’s not bad, but I’m really struggling with starting over. It’s terrifying. But it beats the alternative which is sitting at a desk having someone tell me I should check with them before enrolling my kids in Little League Baseball. I don’t miss that. So, I guess I can live with today’s rookie mistake. I’m sure I’ll make at least two more before the day is over but I’ll learn and get better. What choice do I have?